I am very pre-menstrual right now. Don't worry, I'm not going to take it out on anybody. Unless you're a cow. If you're a cow, I'd start ambling (quickly) in the opposite direction. Since I'm craving beef pretty fiercely right now, and can't guarantee that I'd be able to stop myself taking a big, juicy bite out of your arse. Mmmmm! Run away now, that's a nice cow!
So...why don't I just cook up some beef? Well, we don't usually have much by way of meat on hand here, chez Quimby. And after reading all about factory-farmed beef, well, I won't be eating much of that elsewhere, either, I don't think. Until McDonald's takes to serving free-range Big Macs. (Ha! That'll be the day!)
So...can't cook it up, can't get it out, no beef to be had...boo hoo! What to do?
Froot Loops, of course! Those'll do nicely, in a pinch. Mr.Q's on the hunt for Froot Loops, so's I can pretend they're juicy, rare Beef-Loops. Mmmmmm again! The breakfast cereal of redneck champions everywhere.
While I'm waiting, I'll show you his new friend: The Space Banana!
I don't know either, I didn't ask. I'm not sure I want to know. Yes, I've had a lot of coffee today. No, nothing to drink. Why do you ask?
Oooop! He's just come in the door...gotta go rustle me up a bowl and spoon. Where did my cowgirl hat get to....?
5 comments:
Are mad cows safe or should I go find some arse protection? I happen to be pretty free range.....
I actually cooked beef two weeks ago. It was very good. I'm likely to grow an extra breast or something because of it, but it was so worth it.
And why has blogger changed my damned name on me?
I frequently crave beef when I am pms'ing, too. I've read that it has something to do with the body's need for iron...
Froot Loops are pretty fabulous in their own right. I hope that did the trick for you. Though if anyone comes across a road kill cow in your neighborhood, you are going to be at the top of the list of suspects.
Drove past some feed lots as we went across country - yep, thinking free range is the best way to go. But I love beef....
Post a Comment