Friday, November 2, 2007

F is for Friday

Something in Barb's latest post triggered a childhood memory that I feel compelled to share. What with "F" being for "Friday" and all...

When I was about 7 or 8, we started learning cursive writing in school. I had a hard time with it. I was excited about the process, though, as I loved making up stories, and they'd only look better on paper with this fancy new style of writing! So I worked at it very hard, even when I could have been playing with my Star Wars action figures.

Finally, I felt, I had mastered the particularly difficult letter "F." I wanted to show off to my mother, my parents being quite supportive of all our creative pursuits. (Well, except maybe that time I drew a sun - or was it a cloud? - on that guy's painting at the art gallery, but I hardly remember that, so I don't suppose it counts. Though my difficulties with visual art may stem from that early trauma....)

Anyway. Back to the writing: I found a notepad and a pen, and sat down at the table. Painstakingly, with the greatest care (and uncharacteristic patience!), I wrote the best phrase I could think of, with the most "F"s. With great excitement, I took my masterpiece to my mother, anticipating her maternal pride, the smile which would accompany her praise. Maybe she'd even give me a cookie. This writing thing was great!

You can imagine my proud mother's sweet, joyful reaction when I handed her the pad, on which I'd written a good two dozen times, that F-laden phrase: "f**k off"

(In retrospect, I bet that as soon as she was in private, she laughed her arse off about it...though I'm glad she didn't think to tell the story at my wedding!)


Sarah from the Kootenays said...

Mom told me that story several years ago. And she was still laughing!

Barb said...

Oh, my gosh! That is the funniest thing ever!

Ari said...

awesome story! I got my first "F" on some homework in 1st grade and was soooo proud to bring it home and show my grandma!