Thursday, November 12, 2009

Hints (Warning: Ranty Post Ahead!)

*To rush-hour drivers: A red light means "EVERYBODY STOP" - not "Everybody except you, the speshul snowflayke on your cell phone in the SUV, weaving your way in and out of the parking lane at 110 in a 60 zone to get past traffic." In fact, the red light especially applies to you once the walk sign has come on and the pedestrians at the intersection have actually stepped off the curb. Asspickle.

*To students: "I was in the hospital for 2 days" is a reasonable excuse for being absent. I'll even take "I had to take my room-mate to the hospital." Because I also take transit, if you make at least an attempt to sound sincere, I will even pretend to believe you if you tell me your bus "just didn't come." However, "I overslept" and "class is too early, I can't get out of bed" are not acceptable excuses. So when you fail the test you have known about for two frakking weeks, please don't be surprised at my complete lack of sympathy. Dude in the hospital can take a re-test; you cannot.

*To the girls still in their shorts and mini-skirts: The reason you are so cold that your legs are blue is because it is November. In Canada. I know this is Lotus Land and all, but if you'll just take a look around you, you might notice that there is snow on them thar hills. Also? Big winter parkas, UGG boots and short shorts is a far bigger fashion faux pas than my hand-knitted socks-n-'Stocks will ever be.

*Self: put a big dollop of Bailey's in your coffee tomorrow. It's Friday. Live a little. Plus, it might lessen the aggravation of Teh Stoopids.

*Mr.Q: Co-worker got flowers from her fiance delivered to her at the school today. With a little card that said "Just Because." All the women melted. Including me. Just sayin'.

Hoo boy! Little grumpy today. I think some chicken curry might ease things a little. Off to try that particular experiment!


(formerly) no-blog-rachel said...

I feel your pain. If things are really tough maybe you should consider the Baileys in your coffee tonight instead of tomorrow.

In fact you've inspired me; maybe I'll need to do the same.

pdxknitterati/MicheleLB said...

Why wait on the Bailey's? I've got coffee right here!

bethc said...

I had a student miss school ALL DAY for an appointment that was 11:00 - 11:20. Duh, school is from 8 - 3, think you could fit us in?

Annie said...

I get the flower envy. But don't you take public transit? Won't you be cursing the lovely bouquet in the glass vase FILLED WITH WATER on transit? Like when someone knocks the flowers off the stems, or jostles you and splashes you with water that you forgot to drain off before leaving work? Sounds like a double Bailey's kind of day! ;^)

Patience said...

You mean, you haven't heard there's a three-second rule on red lights? There sure is in my neighborhood.

Anonymous said...

hehehe. asspickle. i'm gonna start using that now.

Somewhere Else said...

Is it just me who misread your title and was entertained but still looking for the ranDy parts???